She Gets Your Attention

What was it that made you notice her the first time? I remember hearing a story I could relate to about a man working on a car and from underneath the car he catches a glimpse of well crafted legs, tanned and tone, as she walked by the car. He slid out from underneath the car, laying the work aside just to find out about the rest of the package. They later married and had children.

I can remember "good looks"as a motivating factor in wanting to get to know the woman who became my wife. What made you not give up later, something in your gut, in the core of your being made you want to keep her, despite anything she may have said or done at some point that made you want to leave. Maybe you did slam the door and leave in those dating days only to find yourself trying to slide back into her life, or even pry.

Relationships are hard. What drives us to be in a marriage relationship? Making sex morally correct over the long term, right? "Making her an honest woman.." Please! What can you possibly do that God doesn't already know about before you do it? Really weird how we can block the thought of God out of mind long enough to do the things we shouldn't do. Still we have the question: "What did it for you?" What attracted you initially? What made you go back when you left in anger, vowing not to put up with being treated so bad.

Love? Love is not what made the guy slide out from underneath the car. Lust? Maybe, probably in several cases. Jealousy? Definitely most men cannot bear the thought of another man taking their place. Duty? Some have gone back or stayed in the marriage "for the sake of the kids".

Before it is too late let's ask again and ultimately answer the question in which we began this rant. What was it that made you look, then act on getting to know the lady in your life. What made you decide that she was the one. Your answer matters not in detail, perhaps the memory of that time brings back certain thoughts maybe even the aroma of her perfume or the stupidity of the first thing you said to her

So get the point already! Here is the point of which you need to be reminded. Probably it was much easier for her to get your attention back then, compared to current times. Actually she did not even have to try to get your attention, whatever internal drives pointed you toward her did so in what we call: "attraction".

Regardless of what that thing is or was that attracted you to her; what does she have to do now to get your attention? That is what you as a husband need to do is allow her to have your attention without asking. I have heard it said that women do not like sex as much as men. This is not true, most like sex more than men but they rarely want to have sex with a man that only pays attention to them for sex. If you think I am wrong about that you are telling on yourself and your sex life life is probably centered around your own needs or you have no sex life at all. If you are married a non-existent sex life is a sign of a seroius problem. More than likely it has to do with the amount of attention, love and nurture you provide for your wife.

Your wife deserves your attention before she needs your attention. Husbands are rarely proactive but love to announce that they are the head of the house or the leader. The leader is proactive considering the needs of those he leads above his own. The leader/husband is aware and attentive to the needs of his wife and children.

Husbands must look ahead, plan ahead, work ahead, think ahead, and pay attention to the surroundings. He may delegate responsibilities to others in the home but he must always be ultimately responsible. Husbands must always be giving his attention to others in the home and certainly to his wife. A great book for you is "Point Man" by Steve Farrar.

More important than your business or your career is your relationship with your wife and your children. That company you give your life to will one day force you to retire because they no longer value you as an employee. That business you run will one day be gone, if Uncle Sam doesn't force you, out something else will.

Every man must earn a living and pay his bills but his motive must be a love for his family not a desire for himself. Selfishness is the root of every sin and certainly the root of every failure in a marriage. Try my theory and see if this is true think of any indiscretion and see if you can not trace it back to selfishness. Greed, adultery, theft, lying, they all go back to selfishness.

Do not be selfish with your time and your attention; give your time and attention to your wife. Give your time and attention to your children. As a Christian, I implore you first give your time and attention to God. Matt. 6:33 "Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto you."

After God, when it comes to your wife, she gets your attention.